Willingly In and Out of a Mad Pool

I am walking into mid-twenties carrying a baggage of consequences of choices I have made in my late teens and early twenties. Having only a week to say goodbye to 2018, I find it a relief that I have not achieved any of my so called \’2018 resolutions\’.

I suprisingly surprised myself all year with new big choices and a bit of sending her highness \’comfort zone\’ to exile every time she thought she has finally found a home. I kept the man in me very much alive and felt his stimulating moves pushing me extra hard towards what I want for myself. I intentionally threw myself into a pool of mud severally and came out of it successfully very dirty.

I don\’t regret the dirt. One: Because, behind me are the marks of my footsteps bold enough for me to read the mistakes I did. Two: I feel the filthiness of the mad gnashing between my skin and my clothes. Definitely, I don\’t want to ever feel it again. Three: Because, when I look forward, a lot of responsibilities await me and there is no way I am going to pick them with all the dirt covering me. I need to clean up. My point is, everything I did this year, I was on My mind.

As always, a new year comes with hope for better days and better opportunities. This statement makes me furious. Do I always have to wait for a New Year\’s eve to feel more hopeful? Can I not work every other day with hope that I am doing something to make tomorrow how I would like to be? It\’s petty but I think if the energy I start every year with is the energy I have had since I defined myself, then, I would be stepping on a higher case on my ladder. A ladder that has no vissible end.

I am not penning this down to keep myself how next time, next year I will do this and that. I am penning it down because I have already started the action. In and of the mud pool proud of every mistake I made and armed not to repeat any of it.

#PenItDownWithWambuiKirunge

#DoItTodayForTomorrow